People tell me to study and to try my best. And I tried studying, but I feel....there's absolutely no way I'm gonna be able to finnish learning everything in English in time. I wish Sunday would hurry and be over, but that means that it's bye bye for the scholarship, (although it is practically bye bye for the scholarship anyway) but if Sunday was further away, I might be able to cover enough ground to survive the test.

I try to calm myself by thinking: most of the people taking this test learned in Malay too, so they're no better of than I am, and they're gonna select the 15 top scorers right? But then I think again, the eligible age is 17-22 which means A-level students and STPM-ers might be applying too, and they're definately better of than I am.

And what about the people from private/international schools who did learn all these things in English? Maybe I should just stick to waiting for the JPA scholarship results. But, even if I do get that, they're definately not gonna send me to Japan. And what if the six chapters that I do manage to learn in the little time I have left out of the 32 chapters that I'm supposed to know are the very 6 chapters that they select questions from and I somehow end up knowing the answers? What if that crucial decisive chapter is the chapter right after the one I just finnished?

oh my God the roundaboutedness.

How am I keeping myself motivated? I think, hey, Raito wouldn't give up like this! He'd ace the test and end up getting full scores!
Then I think...well yeah, but Raito was the top student in all of Japan...and he's a genious. I'm....me. So I end up back in my room napping.

Did you know that after reading Death Note, i was so amazed by how smart Raito and L were that I immediately went to my room and studied Chemistry last year? lol.

#1 I have many false memories. Since I recall my dreams so clearly, and I imagine conversations with my friends alot, and I have a strange ability to recall thoughts. I remember things I thought back when I was at least 3 (cos I remember playing in the snow, which means I was either 2 or 3) I tend to mix them up with real memories. So it isn't unusual for me to say something to someone about how fun it was when we were playing jumprope at her house and they go: huh? You've never even been to my house before.

#2 My level of hyperness seems to work directly porportional to my sister's (han). What was the term? Berkadar songsang? The less hyper she is, the more hyper I become.

#3 When we go out to eat, and I have to order a drink...I actually think about the food I order then try to decide what drink will go best with it, like if I'm having salmon, I don't want something like pineapple juice because it'll wash away the taste, and on many occasions, I can't decide and I end up just having chilled water.

#4 Oh, I don't do this anymore, but I used to. When I bathe and have shampoo in my hair, I'd try sculpting it into different hairstyles. Like I try putting it all up then flattening it so I look like some Jamaican man, or I try making a wave shape or a coconut tree shape.

#5 When I read a book, sometimes I get so absorbed in it I beleive I'm the main character. (It's true, even if it sounds lame) some time ago, when I read What Katy Did, I was lying on a bed and I felt thirsty so I asked my sister to make me a drink and she told me to make it myself and I just stared at her. In my head I was thinking: how the heck do you expect me to make it?? I'm BEDRIDDEN!!! I broke my SPINE!! oh..wait....no I didn't.

#6 I'm running out of things. There was a time, when I slept walked. I walked all the way downstairs to my maids room and asked for the orange and the purple ice-creams in the fridge cos they weren't there anymore and she said we don't have ice-cream and I got so angry cos I knew that we had some just last night and since it wasn't there no more, she definately took it and ate it herself. So I went back to bed very angry. Next day, my mom was laughing at me.

Tagging: snowless ,muffinsniffer,omgitsrae,pillowaddict,gerai_neon,salah_kira